Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Feelings are dumb. Here are some of mine.

So, yesterday I did 5 miles of intervals and then exploded a pot of black beans.

We eat A TON of black beans around here. I always buy them in a can, it's so easy, but Paul really wanted to buy them dried this time. I've been thinking about it anyway because of all the BPA in canned foods, but I didn't tell him that. He usually resists my "dirty hippy" plans.

I might have forgotten about the beans, they have to cook for a long time, and came out to find this.

Yep, bean splatter all over the wall and stove. You can't see it, but it was also running down the front of the stove. Oh joy! I guess it's worth it to keep Lorelei from eating more food tainted with poison, but what a pain.

Along with black beans, I cut up 2.5 pounds of carrots for snacking. Since I obviously can't just stop snacking, it just doesn't work for me, I decided to make healthy snacks more convenient. These were some big carrots...

And a lunch Lorelei requested...Potbelly

And since I've worn out the food topic, I guess that means it's time to address the running, or lack of running that's been happening this week.

Saturday was the long run and on Sunday my foot was really hurting. It was still sore on Monday so I took another day off. No big deal. It felt good Tuesday so I got ready to go to the gym to use the mill. It's been a bit chilly here and it seems my winter toughness has worn off and I can no longer handle anything less than 40 degrees. I was almost out the door when the phone rang, it was an important call so I had to take it. 45 minutes later we actually left for the gym. I didn't have much time so I did 5 minutes of intervals. 1 mile warm up, 1 mile at 8:30 pace, .5 mile at 9:15 pace, repeat, you get the idea. Today my hip is sore. I still tossed around the idea of running, knowing that I really shouldn't. It's so close to race day I really don't want to mess anything up.

Here's where it gets uncomfortable for me. This sort of feels like a confession of how pathetic I am. So I was feeling sorry for myself and reading a running magazine (Running Times, April 2013 issue) and happened to come across an article about injuries. This particular section was about how your mind can play a role in you remaining healthy or getting injured. "If you place a high value on yourself as a person, more so than as a runner, then when you get in the early stages of an injury, you can stop whatever is causing you to get injured in the first place. If you don't have a high enough value for yourself, and your only value comes from running, then you're going to press on. And because you're pressing on, now you're more injured."-Stan Beecham

That really speaks to me as a runner. I think I do place too much value on myself as a runner and not as a person. Or at least just too much value on running. Running has become my thing. It's the only part of my day that's just for me. It's not there to make someone else happy. It's mine. There's my confession. Not super exciting, but I'm not a "talk about your feelings" kind of girl. I'm more of a "run until you have no feelings" kind of girl. It works for me. I like it.

Dr. George Sheehan probably said it best. "Running made me free. It rid me of concern for the opinion of others. Dispensed me from rules and regulations imposed from outside. Running let me start from scratch. It stripped off those layers of programmed activity and thinking. Developed new priorities about eating and sleeping and what to do with leisure time. Running changed my attitude about work and play. About whom I really like and who really liked me. Running let me see my twenty-four-hour day in a new light and my lifestyle from a different point of view, from the inside instead of out."

In keeping with the idea of valuing myself and my sore hip, I'm attempting to take the day off. Lorelei and I went shopping. Buying her first running outfit was really fun.

And we had some quality snuggle time afterwards.

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